John Scalzi Gets His Rant On

…in “A Creator’s Note to ‘Gatekeepers'”, a post with which I agree, as they say, times eleventy-one.

(A lot of self-nominated gatekeepers, in my own experience, are stuffy purists of one variety or another–the sort of people who, if they’re cooks, only write recipes for people who live where they can purchase absolutely authentic ingredients, rather than making do with locally available near-equivalents; the sort of people who don’t want anyone to listen to a Bach concerto unless it’s played on authentic Baroque instrument; and so on.  The sort of people, in fact, for whom an experience is spoiled once the wrong sort of people show up and start enjoying it.  It’s a variety of snobbery, and it annoys me greatly.)

Links of Interest

Well, of interest to me, anyhow.

This one doesn’t have anything to do with writing, except in the way that everything, eventually, has to do with writing; it’s about the spread of prehistoric dairying culture as traced through ancient cheesemaking tools, and how that tracks with the development of lactose tolerance in northern and western Europe.

I can’t see hanging an entire story on those bits of knowledge, but it’s the sort of idea that tumbles around in the back of a writer’s head for an extended period of time, accreting other ideas to itself all the while, until it becomes something much bigger and shinier and definitely other.

This post by Greg van Eekhout, on the other hand (while a couple of years old at this point) is very much about writing — specifically, about the vexed question of skin color in cover art, and the work involved in getting it right.  As long as you’re over at Greg’s site, you might as well read this more recent post, as well, in which he takes on the question, “What is a writer of Dutch-Indonesian descent doing playing around with Norse myth?”  (Other than, “A damned fine job, that’s what,” which was my instant reaction, years ago, to reading his short story “Wolves Till the World Goes Down” at the Viable Paradise workshop.)

Now That It’s Cooled Down Enough to Cook

Here’s another dead-simple recipe for the deadline-beset or otherwise brain-dead writer:

Beef Ribs Cooked In Vermouth And Herbes De Provence

3 lbs. boneless beef ribs
Kosher salt and black pepper
1 carrot, sliced
1 rib celery, diced
1 tsp tomato paste or ketchup
2 tsp herbes de Provence, crushed
1/2 cup vermouth
1/2 cup double-strength beef stock
1 tsp. honey
1 tsp. vinegar

Put the sliced veggies into the crock pot.

Put meat into crock pot.  Sprinkle herbs, salt, pepper over meat.

Mix the stock, vermouth, honey, vinegar, and tomato paste.

Pour liquid mix over meat and seasonings.

Cook on low 8-10 hours.

If you want, mix a couple of tablespoons of cornstarch into some cool water and stir it into the crock pot 30 minutes or so before dinner.  (Turn the crock pot on high for that bit.)

Serve over egg noodles.

Usually (as it is in the blend sold at our local IGA) a mix of savory, basil, fennel, thyme, and lavender. Sometimes there are other herbs, such as rosemary; sometimes there isn’t any lavender. I buy it pre-mixed, but there are numerous recipes on-line for the googling.

For Those Who Might Have an Interest in Such Things

From the Twitter feed of Patrick Nielsen Hayden at Tor Books:

James Frenkel is no longer associated with Tor Books. We wish him the best. We’ll be contacting the authors and agents Mr. Frenkel worked with to discuss which editor here they’ll be working with going forward. This process will take some days or even weeks, so please be patient if you don’t hear from us instantly. Finally, if you had something on submission to Tor via Mr. Frenkel, you’ll need to resubmit it via some other Tor editor. If you don’t have a particular editor in mind, you can re-submit it via Diana Pho (diana.pho@tor.com) who will route it appropriately.

This has been, as they say, a public service announcement.

Meanwhile, I’m getting ready for this weekend’s Readercon (in a hotel! with air conditioning! never mind the literature — the air conditioning!)

The Glorious Fourth

The hot and muggy Fourth, at any rate.  Our town has had its parade, and shot off its fireworks, and at midnight they will ring the bell in the Congregational Church (it being the oldest one in town) to proclaim liberty throughout the land.

Happy Independence Day to all my US readers — and for those of you from other parts, please take and hold these good wishes in reserve for your own national holidays, whenever they may be.

Because I Couldn’t Post in Time Last Night

And because I hate to miss two days in a row when I’m not on a road trip, and always feel guilty when I do:

Presented for your amusement:  The Most Interesting Writer in the World.

More Semi-Mindless Cookery for Busy People

This one is only truly mindless if you have access to a crockpot (which every hardworking freelancer should) and a food processor and a source of pre-made frozen meatballs.  Make the meatballs yourself from scratch when ground beef is on sale, or get the storebought ones when those are on sale — either way, they’re good to have in the freezer as meals-in-the-bank for nights when you can’t be bothered to cook anything requiring thought.

And when you’re not in the mood for meatball subs, or spaghetti and meatballs, you can make this:

Mexican Meatball Soup (Albondigas)

  •     2 (14 1/2 ounce) cans diced Ro-Tel tomatoes & chiles (Don’t try to substitute some other brand of tomatoes and chiles, and go for the original, not the mild, version.  Those of us who hail from Texas know that Ro-Tel makes the one true brand.)
  •     2  14-ounce cans beef broth
  •     2  14-ounce cans chicken broth (I use Better Than Bouillon stock base, and make up four cups of it using 2 teaspoons each of the beef and chicken bases.)
  •     1 box frozen cooked meatballs (or about a pound’s worth of homemade ditto)
  •     1 medium onion, chopped (I run the onion through the food processor on “chop” along with the cilantro, but if you want a coarser chop you can always do it by hand.  It’s not as mindless that way, though.)
  •     1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped (To be honest, I always just eyeball the fresh cilantro.  If you belong to the cilantro-tastes-like-soap portion of the population, this probably isn’t the recipe for you.)
  •     1/2 cup pastini pasta, uncooked
  •     2 teaspoons dried oregano
  •     1 can black beans
  •     salt and pepper, to taste
  •     sour cream, garnish (optional)
  •     shredded cheese, garnish (optional)

Chop onions and cilantro.

Combine all ingredients in a crock pot.

Cook for 4 hours on High or 8-9 hours on Low.

Ladle soup in bowls and garnish with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkle of shredded cheese.

On the line stretching from Convenience to Authenticity, this recipe is firmly pegged down at the Convenience end.  But that, in this case, is the point.

If you’re interested in moving a bit closer to Authenticity, the internet is full of recipes for making albondigas from scratch.

Saving the Endangered Wansdyke

This showed up today on ANSAX-L, the Anglo-Saxon language and literature mailing list, where I’m a long-time lurker. (I’m a long way from the groves of Academe, but I still like to keep up with the hot gossip in the field.)

It has all the earmarks of something that is chock full of local politics and confusing issues (there is nothing more opaque, sometimes, than somebody else’s politics — as I discovered once when I tried to explain local option liquor laws, wet and dry counties, and the Baptist/bootlegger alliance to a European correspondent), but I present it here for what it’s worth.

The Nature of the Beast

Most writers (and by that, like most writers, I mean “most writers who are like me, but not the other ones”) don’t spend a lot of time before or during the writing of a particular piece in fretting about whether it’s straight science fiction/fantasy or magical realism.  We write the story, and worry about determining its genre afterward — or we let the editor and the publisher and the readers worry about it, which is easier, and lets us get on to the next project.

There are a lot of theories about the difference between straight science fiction/fantasy  and magical realism.  For my money, the big difference between the two is that in straight sf/fantasy the non-realistic elements are meant to be regarded as actually there and actually happening (the elves are real and physically present elves; the spaceship is a real spaceship and not — or at any rate, not just –a metaphor for escape; the zombies really are a shambling undead menace and they really do want to eat your brains); but in magical realism, the non-realistic elements serve mainly as extended metaphors.

That’s an incomplete definition, of course.  In my more cynical moments, I suspect that in the end the determination of the story’s genre will be done by whatever market you sell it to.  If it goes to one of the mainstream markets — places like The New Yorker or The Atlantic (hey, why not think big?) or one of the literary magazines — it’ll probably be classified as magical realism, or possibly as “slipstream” if they’re trying to be genre-friendly.  If it goes to one of the sf/fantasy magazines, then it will be known as sf/fantasy for the rest of its natural life.

My own inclination, with an edge-case story like that, would be to try for the mainstream commercial magazines first, on the grounds that while they’re a long shot, they pay really well and publication there brings instant recognition.  After that, unless I had a strong reason not to want my story identified as sf/fantasy, I’d probably bypass the literary magazines and go straight to the sf/fantasy mags, because by and large the literary magazines pay more in prestige than they do in cash.

It used to be The Atlantic Monthly, but they changed the name after they stopped putting out twelve issues a year.

More Thoughts on Rejection

Anybody who writes for money is going to become, perforce, an expert in the types and levels of rejection.

There’s the generic form rejection, which usually reads something on the order of “Your manuscript does not meet our needs at the present time” — which may on rare occasions mean “Your story was so bad it made our eyeballs bleed” but which usually means nothing more than what it says.  Your manuscript didn’t meet their current needs, whatever those needs may have been.  Maybe they bought a story similar to yours just last week; maybe your story was an awkward length and they already have enough stories of that length in inventory to keep them supplied for a year; maybe you happened by chance to write upon a subject that gives the editor hives.  Or maybe your perfectly competent story just didn’t quite push the editor’s “Buy This One!” button.

(That last is a dreadful stage to be at in one’s writing career, by the way.  It’s like perpetually getting B-plusses and never quite getting an A; it’s like watching everybody else in your high-school class get asked out on dates while you’re spending your Saturday nights at home with a good book. A lot of aspiring writers give up at this point.  A lot of others turn bitter and morose, and are left unable to enjoy themselves when they finally do make that first sale.  The only consolation to be had is that everybody who’s eventually sold their writing has gone through this stage first.)

Then there’s the personalized and encouraging rejection, wherein the editor takes a minute or so from a busy schedule to add something like “Keep on writing!” or “Try us again with your next.”  These notes are good and flattering things.  The wise aspirant doesn’t take them as an invitation to initiate a personal correspondence, but files them away in the “Attaboy!” (or “Attagirl!,” as appropriate) folder to take out and contemplate on those grey and rainy afternoons of the soul that writers are so often prone to.

Then there’s the rejection letter with specific suggestions:  “Shorten this by 500 words and I’ll give it another look” or “This isn’t really our sort of thing, but you might consider sending it to Anne Editor over at Marketable Magic Realism.”  In those cases — for heaven’s sake, don’t be dense.  Shorten the story and resubmit, or send it over to Marketable Magic Realism post haste with a note in the cover letter to the effect of “Joe Editor over at Rivetty SF suggested I send this to you.”

Maybe you don’t think your story was magic realism; maybe you think it was hard sf.  (You’d read Rivetty‘s submission guidelines, after all; that much of a newbie you aren’t.)  And maybe you’re right.  But editors make their reputations by knowing how readers are going to see these things, and Marketable Magic Realism‘s checks clear just as well as those from Rivetty SF Stories.  Take the money and run.

Really, don’t. The last thing you want to do is inadvertently consign yourself to some editor’s Creepy Stalker file.